Insane Olympic Opening Ceremony of the Day: What exactly are they planning, you ask? Everything. No really, everything.
The stage was designed by director Danny Boyle, and will include “a village cricket team, 12 horses, 10 chickens, 70 sheep, a model of Glastonbury Tor, two mosh pits, and the largest harmonically tuned bell in the world.”
But the fun doesn’t stop there, because it’s not an Opening Ceremony unless a 40-foot-tall Voldemort does battle with 30 Mary Poppinses.
Before 40-foot-Voldemort appears, ‘about 100′ children will be wheeled out on hospital beds to perform a choreographed ‘bed dance,’ which sounds quite sexy but probably is not.
To these one hundredish beds will be added a dozen more ‘giant’ ones, on which will dance/frolic/be such beloved storybook characters as The One Hundred and One Dalmatians’ dog-skinning villain Cruella de Vil.
Apparently this insanity is all just the tip of the iceberg, too. In an attempt to top China’sterrifying show of synchronicity from 2008, England has thrown every single British thing against the wall in hopes of something sticking.
Yeah, we’ll be watching the hell out of this.